Looking at my Successes from December's Goals and defining February's Goals

I am making little mini cards, each one individually painted
rather than printed.
This is under the category of fun and social
(Family and friends)
click to view larger.)

Today's the day that I am checking to see how I did on my goals for December and January:

1. I walked 45 minutes nearly every day and if I missed, I usually made it up--success!
2. I finished more than 4 books a month:  success!
3. I did not get out in nature 2 or more times a month.  I got out once a month or so.  :-(  This is very sad.  I get out, but not in nature.
4. I posted more than 8 times a month.  Success.
5. I meditated 3 x a week or more most weeks. Pretty good success.

Also, I did art, worked on my novels, wrote and submitted some poems, restarted my exercise program, worked on my diet, submitted photos to DSS and generally made a lot more progress than I usually give myself credit for.

Today's challenge for my goal-setting track is to make a treasure map for one goal.  I chose getting a book done.

Treasure map to publishing my books
(2 that I am currently working on).
Click this to see it large enough to actually read.

Goals for February 2014

My five major goals for February are:

1. health:  exercise, diet and other stuff below.
2. work:  Wolfie, Uncertain Weather, submissions. Art.
3. Social: husband, family, friends.
4. Fun:  art, play, reading, social.
5. I'm totally confused about this and if I am going to do it, I need a better way to do it.  Find that way or jettison project.

I am doing the first topic below and will attempt the 2nd-5th in coming days.  I think I am spending too much time on this, but picking a few things doesn't seem to work, either.

My Year-word for 2014 is HEALTH, which is physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual well-being.  (A subcategory is Bravery, which I hope to address in a future post).  In the goal-setting month, today’s challenge* is to QUANTIFY the goals so you know if you are achieving them.  I’m not sure all goals should be exactly quantified. But here goes.

Exercise:

·         I will do my basic exercise set at LEAST 3 X a week.

·         I will walk 45 minutes (or do an equal or better exercise such as biking, snow shoveling, cross country skiing, jogging, etc.) at LEAST 5 X a week.

·         I will look for ways to modify my exercise schedule to make it healthier (more vigorous when possible, more stretching, more varied) and more fun.  What I want to do is add BACK into my schedule T’ai Chi, Chi Kung, Zhan Zhong and yoga.  I don’t want to overwhelm myself time-wise, so I want to fit those in place of some of the other exercises I do a few days a week. I would like to make incremental changes so they don’t seem overly burdensome but still create positive changes.  By the end of February, or sooner, I will create and implement a schedule for adding in or substituting some of these activities.

Wish List for 2014

Robin 1-13-14
Pier Park
Photo by Mary Taitt
digitally manipulated with oil point filter
(click image to view larger)

OK, my next goals-track challenge is to make a wish list for 2014:

Write a wish list for the next year.

How to do it Spend a minute making an uncensored list of everything you want in your life for the next year. On the list, include your desires for your health, money, friendships, romantic relationships, career, and hobbies. Circle the top two things you'd like to achieve. Are there steps you can take to make them a reality?

Why it matters Thinking about how you'd like your year to go helps you clarify your goals, and making a list makes them that much more real. Once you've picked the two that are most meaningful to you, you can begin to identify the concrete, measurable actions you need to take. After all, every big success comes only after many mini ones.

Okay, this should be fun! It says UNCENSORED!

So that means I can write down everything I want, even if it's absurd, right?

My uncensored wish list:

I want radiant good health!
I want world peace!
I want happiness, joy and serenity.
I want abundant love and friendship.
I want satisfaction and fulfillment.
I want to finish Uncertain Weather, at least a first draft.
I want to finish AND PUBLISH (at least at Shutterfly) Frankie and Noah Have a Party.
I want to prepare for NaNoWriMo 2014 even if I don't do it.
I want to COMPLETE my projects.  Large and small.
I want to get Frog Haven ready to send out again.
I want to sleep well at night and wake well in the morning and be alert during the day. I would like to be free from insomnia.
I want to be able to sing.
I want to have less pain pain and suffering for myself and others.
I want meaningful conversation.
I want time with others (love and friendship, real face time) balanced with positive solitude and working time.
I would like to balance working time with relaxation.
I would like to worry less.  ("What, me worry?")
I would like to feel less overwhelmed. (Sleeping better might help with that.)
I want ecological health for the world.

OK, I am identifying three things, not two:  HEALTH, COMPLETION and LOVE/FRIENDSHIP.

Here comes the procrastination part, though.  I am working on health.  Need to continue working and take further steps.  And I am working on friendship/love, although my tiredness and pain-induced crankiness doesn't help.

What I need to do for the next step in completing Uncertain Weather is to reread it, a major project, since I've gotten out of touch over the holidays.  And I do not want to start the next painting for Frankie and Noah until the next Mole arrives--OR--until I finish my gift cards, anyway.  I am way behind on that.

There were flocks of robins at Pier Park the day before yesterday.  I know they stay all winter, but seeing them still represents hope to me.

Role Model(s)

The Teeth of Joy II
digitally altered watercolor painting
originally done for yesterday's challenge
for John Gibson
click image to view larger.

Today's goal setting assignment is to list 5 qualities you admire in a role model.

Describe your success role model by writing down 5 qualities you admire about this person.

How to do it

Write down the name of one person - you don't even have to know him or her personally - whose level of success you admire. Jot down at least five qualities that make this person successful. Is he known for getting to work early? Does she practice certain habits, such as meditation or exercise, daily? Did he take big risks when starting out in his career?

I think they mean one role model for all five of the qualities.  Since following instructions is not my strong suite, I want to list qualities from several people:

The Buddha:  Serenity

Jesus:  love and compassion

Mother Theresa:  Loving compassionate service

Margaret Atwood:

1. intelligence
2. perception
3. knowledge
4. humor
5. hard work (writing and publishing good novels)*

*I would like to be able to write and publish good novels.

Another quality I admire is responsibility, that is, being on time and doing the job one needs to do.  I have someone in mind but would prefer not to name that person.  I also have someone in mind who exhibits the opposite tendencies, and would also prefer not to name that person.  (I do not mean myself).  The contrast between the two is astounding, and I want to be on the continuum closest to the one who is good at being responsible!

I could go on and on with people I admire and the things I admire about them--many names are popping into my head.  I could list many other writers I admire (Barbara Kingsolver, for example and many others), and artists I admire, and kind people I admire.  However, the challenge only asked for one person and 5 qualities, so I shall practice at least a modicum of restraint and stop now.

My Mission Statement for Today and 2014

The Teeth of Joy
by Mary Stebbins Taitt
digitally manipulated watercolor painting
Dedicated to John Gibson

Each of these assignments from the goal setting track seems to me to require a great deal of thought.  Here is today's assignment:

Write your personal mission statement, something that explains who you are and what you believe.

How to do it

A personal mission statement can be in whatever form you wish - a list, a sentence, or a paragraph. If the thought of a mission is intimidating, consider this a personal statement or credo. What's most important is that you draft a statement to explain who you are, why you exist, your personal values, and what you hope to achieve. An example mission might read: "I make a difference in the lives of others by using my artistic abilities and social network to bring art experiences to people in my community," or "The work I do as a parent is important because I'm raising my children to be kind and productive."

I've done this before, created a Mission Statement, but I no longer know where it is.  It used to be posted in my office somewhere.

I believe in kindness, to others and to myself.
I believe in love, in loving myself and others.
I believe in joy.
I believe in balance, an appropriate dynamic balance.
I believe in energy, in the flow and exchange of energy.
I believe in creativity, in the life giving life-sharing benefits of creativity.
I believe in intelligence, in a variety of different kinds of intelligences.
I believe in life.

I do not think an off-the-cuff Mission Statement will serve me terribly well, but I will start with something simple and revisit it.

My Mission Statement for today:

I, Mary, intend to use love, energy, kindness, joy, intelligence and creativity to provide, in a balanced and dynamic way, enjoyable, growth-inducing and healing experiences for myself, my family, my friends and my community.

What does that mean, exactly?  That I am going continue doing what I am doing? Kind of, with some modifications, perhaps.

I think it means I want and intend to do writing, art and other activities that provide happiness, joy, healing and understanding to myself and others.  Does that mean I cannot write about or paint negative things?  No!  Because for healing to occur, sometimes we have to see, understand and confront the problem.

The thing that could be different is that I hope to pay more attention to whether my activities support this mission or not.

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So what about yesterday's goals for today?  Did I call the dermatologist? Did I do my exercises?  No, not yet, but I haven't forgotten.  It's too early to call the dermatologist.  They don't open until 10 AM.  It's 8:15 AM here, now.  And I will do the exercises as soon as I finish this.  (Okay, I just went and did the exercises. I need to do them again tomorrow and that should reestablish the habit.  And now it is 8:56 and I want to make an art piece to go with this post.)

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Quote for the day:  from Pat Barker's Life Class:  “It's the hardest thing in the world to go on being aware of someone else's pain.” 
― Pat Barker

 I just read that 2 minutes ago. How does that relate to my Mission Statement? It reminds me of the Bob Dylan Song, "Black Diamond Bay."

Because I am in physical pain much of the time, and because I am also in emotional pain, I seem if anything less able than before to contain other people's pain and react appropriately.  That is, people at a distance.  Especially masses of people. I can be empathetic and sympathetic of certain pain, especially specific individual pain, at least for a while.  So perhaps I could look at what small doable things I might do to help.  For example, would a card cheer someone up?  It won't help people dying of famine or cholera in the wake of a typhoon. But it might cheer someone who is lonely.

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I tried to make a cheery painting to go with this post, but the one that I liked is not cheery.  Hmmm.  It's not outwardly cheery, but I like it anyway.  (Hope you do, too.)  It took more time than I intended to paint.

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And, finally, I bit the bullet and called the dermatologist.  I'm not sure why I find this so difficult.

Setting Goals 2: Couleurs de Provence and a Realistic Date

Couleurs de Provence

I signed up for a month of "small" goal-setting exercises at Daily Challenge.  It seemed like an appropriate thing to do in January of a new year.  However, the "small" challenges seem really HUGE and difficult to me.  Today's challenge is even more difficult than yesterday's.

Here is the challenge:

Stop settling for "someday" and set a realistic date for reaching a longtime goal instead.

How to do it

Think of at least one of your goals that has "someday" as the due date. For example: "Someday I'll organize my book collection," or "Someday I'll send an email to that person I've lost touch with." Instead, identify a realistic date for when you can reach that goal. The length of time isn't important - maybe it's three months from now or maybe it's a year. The next time you mention that goal, pledge to replace "someday" with the specific date you chose.

This may not seem that difficult, but to me it is.  Or, it feels that way.  The thing is, the BIG goals, the ones I really want to accomplish, are not things I can easily set dates to.

My BIG goals include losing weight, finishing the first draft of the novel I am currently working on, finishing the children's book I am currently working on, finishing other books and big projects I am working on or keeping on fire on the back burner.  None of those are things I can set a date to.

I will, instead, set an intention, which I mentioned yesterday:  Completion.  My intention is to complete one project before I start the next one.  This sounds relatively simple, but is actually really complicated, because I have multiple projects already in progress and projects of various sizes and projects with various deadlines.

I'm having trouble figuring out how to wrap my mind around this.  For example, I like to alternate doing art with writing, because it cleanses the mental palette.  I also have poetry and fiction projects going.

I was impressed by Henry Miller's "Commandments."  Especially commandment #1, which I need to seriously consider.

I don't want to make "commandments."  I do want goals and intentions. And I want to come back monthly (at or near the beginning of each month) and evaluate my progress and remind myself of my goals.

I got all panicky thinking I had to make some huge commitment to finish something major by a given time, but then I reread the assignment and saw that the examples are small things like getting in touch with someone you hadn;t seen for a while.

I just recently did that, got in touch with an old friend I hadn't seen in maybe 15 or more years:

Oops, caught her with her eyes closed.  It was a treat to see her.

But, that's not solving the current problem, to stop procrastinating about something.  I get panicky making commitments about the future, so I say to myself, I stopped doing my exercises when I was sick, and then I was busy with NaNoWriMo and the holidays and traveling and I really want to get back to doing them, so I go do them.  Finally.  Now if I can just do them again tomorrow.

And I've been wanting to put the new CPAP masks and hoses on, so I go do that, and then I'm on a roll and change the sheets on the bed.  I've been wanting to move the couleurs de Provence pigments from the cute little containers they came in to something usable and practical so I go do that.  Finally.

That helps with some procrastination, but I didn't set a future date for something I will do.  Ugh.  Why am I hating this SO MUCH?  Why am I finding it so difficult?

OK, here goes:  Tomorrow, I will call the dermatologist and make an appointment.  I've been putting that off-i do not want to do it.  But I will.  There.  Bleah!  And tomorrow, I will do my exercises, also.    I need to do it for three days running or so to reestablish the habit.

2014 Word of the Year: HEALTH; and Small contract

Stereo view of Adirondack chairs at Pier Park
click image to view larger.
This represents serenity for me,
one of the subcategories of health.

A/k/a Nadine over at In Blue Ink posted about a word of the year.  Her word is BRAVE.  My word is HEALTH.  (I want to be brave, too.  I will put that under health as a subcategory of mental health.) Other things to include as subcategories of health include:  Love, friendship, serenity, weight, completion.

My health has not been as good as I would like and I want to work on improving that.  As we age, it becomes more and more difficult to make truly healthy choices, and the consequences of failing are worse.  My health needs to be my number ONE priority.

(I like wildness, too.  Change can be good, but at my age, not all change is positive.  I'd like gentle positive change toward good health and good outcomes, LOL!)

When I have time, I hope to publish my intentions and goals for the new year and for January, which is almost half over.

(HAPPY NEW YEAR, by the way!!!)

I do not have time now, but I am committed to making a contract with myself.  The goal is to eat less meat, which is difficult for me because I can't eat beans or soy or peanuts and legumes and other things normally used to make a whole protein in a vegan diet.

So my contract is this:  For the remainder of January and all of February, I will eat vegetarian (but not vegan) breakfasts 3 days a week or more, and if something happens that I can't do it, I will substitute another meal.

My intention for this 6 weeks is to have vegetarian (non-meat) omelets Monday, Wednesday and Saturday and Blueberry pancakes (or other fruit pancake) Friday.  I will have meat, if I wish, with my breakfast, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

I will look for ways to have more vegetarian lunches and dinners and ways to add vegan food to my repertoire.  I used to be a vegetarian before I developed all my allergies.  But I have to reinvent the wheel.  Little by little.

I hope to reevaluate this contract and change, expand, contract or eliminate it on or about March 1st.

Imaginary Lives

The Half-lived Life
digitally manipulated digital composit
click on image to view larger

aka Nadine, over at In Blue Ink, has written a post about imaginary lives.  It came from May B's blog and references The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron.  I worked though that entire book years ago.  The book was ruined in "The Floods" we had, so I bought a new copy and worked through it again.   Even so, I have forgotten what I wrote, and my old computers (multiple iterations of them) have died, so I will start over and write something new.

One of the things about being a writer of novels (I can't say I'm a novelist, since I have yet to publish any of them ) is that I get to sort of try on various lives, and have based long and short stories on that premise.

Here are some of the lives I've imagined for myself, not in novels, but in my normal waking life:

1)Writer. (famous writer, famous poet, children's author.)  I used to always imagine myself being famous.  Now, I just want to complete and publish some of my work.

2)Artist:  I'd like to illustrate and publish children's books.  And maybe adult picture books as well.  That's more of a goal than a life, but I have imagined myself in the life of an artist.

3)Photographer:  I'd like to be a more skillful photographer and perhaps publish some of my photographs.  One of the lives I often used to imagine for myself when I was younger was being a National Geographic photographer.  Or working for National Wildlife or some other magazine, but National Geographic was long a favorite fantasy.

4)Naturalist.  I used to be a naturalist, and after I lost that job, I fantasized for years about doing it again.   I loved it.

5)Park Ranger:  This is another long-time fantasy of mine.  I used to want to work in a fire-tower, but that job has become obsolete.  For many years, I wanted to be a park ranger or naturalist in one of the big National Parks such as Yosemite.

6)Environmentalist:  When I was in college, I got really swept up by the environmental movement and often dreamed of becoming deeply involved in life of environmentalism.

7)Shaman/Healer:  I took a lot workshops and courses toward becoming a Shaman and many others on being a healer.  That includes such things as Reiki,

8)Vagabond:  I've led the life of a vagabond and have often missed it and considered returning to it.  Before I met Biker Buddy, I was seriously considering returning to that life.

9)Catholic Nun or Zen or Buddhist Nun:  No, I am not making this up nor am I copying aka Nadine.  It's something of fantasized about for many years, off and on.  I was not raised a Catholic, but my father's family was Catholic and I went to church with my relatives for many years as a child.  I later became a practicing Zen Buddhist.  A life of simplicity and even asceticism appeals to me on some level.  I hate the vulgarity of over-consumption, even though in some ways, I am guilty of it.

10)A happily married woman:  For years, I used to fantasize about being a happily married woman.  I had a series of terrible relationships, and some that had their ups and downs.  Some of it was my own fault and some of it was bad choices and some of it was bad training.    But finally, I have a happy marriage.  It's not perfect, but nothing in this life ever is.

11)A healthy life:  My current fantasy, and one I have had for many years, is to lead a healthy life, to sleep well instead of being awake the entire night like I was last night, and to be lean, happy, healthy, vigorous, enthusiastic, active, engaged etc.  I realize the older I get, the less likely this fantasy is to be realized, but I haven't given up hope.

12)A life free from addictions:  My current addiction of choice is food, particularly sugar, which affects me very badly, but if I have the tiniest bit, I want more. ("One is too many and a hundred is not enough").  My fantasy life would be a life free from addictions.  A more practical imaginary life would be one where day by day, I am truly successful at managing addictions.  That is, avoiding sugar and white flour and not overeating and not substituting other addictions for food if I control the food.

13:  A happy life:  I would like to be calm, serene and reasonably happy.  Sometimes I am, but I am not good at being happy or serene when I haven't slept in days.

13)A "Together" Life:  Some people seem to have it all together.  SEEM may be the operative word.  Or maybe they really are in control and organized.  I feel overwhelmed.  I'd like to have a reasonable number of ducks and get them lined up and quacking a happy song.

OK, clearly I could go on and on beyond the original scope of the exercise!!!  I think we were only supposed to do FIVE.  I'm not good at following directions!

Do you have one or 5 (or more) imaginary lives you'd like to share?  Or poem of flash fiction piece based on an imaginary life you'd like to lead or just try out?

Goals for December

Over at In Blue Ink, aka Nadine posted her goals for December, and the results of her goals for November.  I meant to post my November goals but never got a round to it.  They included doing NaNoWriMo, which I did and am pleased about. It took a good part of my month!

Thinking about goals gets my knickers all in a twist. I'm not good at limiting them to 5. And then I feel overwhelmed.

I'm going to try for 5 realistic goals:

1. walk 45 minutes every day, and if I miss a day, make up for it. Right now, because of the holidays, I'm down a half-hour.  I was down an hour, but yesterday and today, I walked an hour.  I do not want to use a distance, because of my fibromyalgia (sometimes, I'm too sick to walk far and have to walk slowly), and until I can get a fitbit or similar items, I probably will not count steps.  OK, I'm modifying that to success if I average six day a week.
2. finish 4 books.  (yes, I'm sort of copying Nadine until find my own rhythm--like a said, I tend to go overboard.).  I just finished one today, so I only three more to go, but that's OK, it's going to be a very busy month.
3. get out into nature at least twice during the month--hmmm--even though this is a big favorite for me, I now live in the city, I hate driving in bad weather, and December is probably the busiest month of the year.  I USED TO GET OUT IN NATURE NEARLY EVERY DAY!  WAHN.  OK, I'm trying for 2, but I'd like even more than two.
4. post here at least twice a week.  Hmm, I'm not really sure that's an appropriate goal.  I don't exactly have a shortage of things to post, I have a shortage of time.  I'll try it on for size, though.  I'll have to do a costs-benefit analysis!

Auxilliary goals:

1. do some fun things with my sweetie!!!!
2. write at least one new poem a week.
3. revise at least one poem a week
4. send out a packet of three or more poems every other month (OK, JANUARY? except see below))
5. meditate 3 times a week (I'm slipping here) or do t'ai chi or something for calmness and serenity.

OK, now my "real" list of what I really wish I could accomplish:

1. create and "publish" 3 new books for Frankie for Christmas (or anyway, at least one.)  I have two started, but may start a third because that one would be easier to finish.  I want at least one done for Christmas.  One of them requires not only artwork, but also working out the poems needed.
2. prepare 3 pictures for myself and encourage K to do his or do them for him for the DSS meeting which is December 11.  The theme is water.  (And decide what to bring for the covered dish and make it).  Does that go in the fourth list, under have-tos, or here?
3. get my Christmas shopping done early, and the gifts wrapped early so I can have one less thing to worry about.
4. stop worrying (yeah, right).
5. make homemade Christmas cards and get them all sent in time for them to arrive by Christmas.
6. continue working on my current novel that I did for NaNoWriMo until I finish it, so for the month of December, lets say I write at least every other day at least 1000 words.  The reason is, once I get separated from working ont he novel, I lose the thread of it and it slides onto the back burner and becomes very difficult to pick up again.
7. Do some kind of artwork at least every 3rd day, to keep my hand in.
8. Get the Moleskine that I am currently working on finished and mailed by December 15.  This means finishing the current piece, which is a collaboration, doing one complete page of my own, hopefully for one of the Frankie books listed in goal number one of this second list.  It also will help with goal number 5 (there is some overlap here).
9. Submit collaborative with Julie Levy poem to Mixitini Matrix.  This means finishing an art piece I started to accompany the poem.
10. Submit postcard poem 
11. submit poem to Bitter Oleander (determine if December is the right month and if not, put it on calendar.)
12. getting back on a diet (this may be impossible in December, too much going on that involves food.
13. getting back on my exercise program:  I quit exercising , except for walking, during the month of November in order to free up time for writing.
14. come up with an idea for NaNoWriMo 2014 even though I think I should NOT do it.

And a list of "have-tos:"

1. Cleaning for guests who will be coming here.
2. Planning Christmas eve dinner, which I am in charge of
3. Planning our end of the Christmas trip to Syracuse.  (maybe that should go up above).

It's sort of difficult to decide where to put certain things, and even things I like or love and think I want to do become onerous when I look at the whole big stupid list.

I'm sure I've forgotten stuff, too. 

Image:  from the Heidelberg project in Detroit.