Persona Non Grata

I'm a closet writer--I do a lot of writing, but rarely send anything out (Although I do have a few things out at the moment.)

One time, I had written a story in the third person and decided that particular story might be served better by being written in the first person, so I started over in the first person, but the voice of that person was so alarming and disturbing I could not continue writing.

I hate books where the main character is obnoxious and unlikable, but that was just the the kind of voice that was coming out of ME! It frightened me, and I didn't want to think that that person lived inside me. Is that part of ME?

I like Dean Koontz and Childs and Preston's Pendergast because they seem to have HONORABLE characters, even if bad (horrid) things happen.

Now I am curious, though, what would happen if I continued writing that story I put aside? I'f I can locate it in the chaos of my life, I might experiment with it.

People have often said to me that I am nicer in correspondence than I am in person--but also, they've said the opposite--that if I am angry, they'd rather hear it from me in person that read about it in a letter or email.

Oddly, my poetry is quite dichotomous--it is often either very dark or very light. Same with my art. My prose tends to explore more of the grey areas.