Every time PB sits on my lap or in any other way acts like my "little boy," I am afraid it is the last time. So whenever, few and far between, I have an opportunity to be his "Mommy" again, I really savor the experience. Yesterday, we went to a party for SB who is home on leave. It was a long ride in the car, and on the way home, PB slept, first on my shoulder while Paul was still in the car, and then on the seat with his head on my leg. My hand was draped down his side. When we dropped ML off, BB wanted me to come up front and PB wanted me to stay in the back. I stayed in the back with PB, not knowing if I would ever have the chance to hold him again. One of these times may very well be the last. I savored every second of it, and am pleased with my choice.
I lay beside BB last night in bed--notice I didn't say slept beside him, because we were both sick and neither of us slept. And tonight, I sat close beside BB while he read to me. I savor every second of that time, next to BB, too. But BB is always willing to give me a hug or a kiss. PB is stingy with his. I have had no other chance to touch or hold my son. He's locked in his room with his headphones on. He'll be 14 in less than a week. He's taller than me and his feet are bigger. Hugging his Mom is pretty low on his list of priorities, way below hanging out with his friends, music, video games, TV etc.