Tuesday, February 27, 2007


“I love you, little Sweetness and Light,” my mother says.

“Whatever,” I answer, and keep on walking. My mother can be useful, but she’s pretty annoying. Just think about it. First of all, I’m not little. I’m a teenager, for God’s sake. Goodness sake, I mean. (Mom says never take the Lord’s name in vain, but you should hear what she says when she’s mad, or for no reason that I can tell.)

Anyway, I’m not little, I’m not sweet, and I don’t generate light, unless you’re one of those witches that can see auras. Mom might be; she’s that weird.

I walk a few steps, then turn back and give her a hug. “Okay, what do you want?” She’s right. I mostly only hug her when I want something. The rest of the time, she’s just part of the furniture. She’s right about that, too.

I do want something. I want a LOT. I want money. I want to stay up all night and sleep all day. I want to eat candy drink soda, play video games and watch TV. Hang out with my friends. I want to avoid school, practicing the piano, taking baths, wearing clean clothes, cleaning the bird cage and burying the compost.

I hug her again, stroke her hair. “Friend,” I say. “Milkshake,” I say. “Real friends make their friends milkshakes. You’re my friend, right Mom?”

“Oh,” she says, “you’re going to make me a milkshake, how nice.”

“Well, since you can’t . . .” but she’s already getting out the milk and the ice-cream.

“Chocolate,” I yell, as I dash upstairs. I can make a perfect milkshake, I just hate washing the blender. Now I can get onto Runescape and see if Simon or George are on yet. And she can wash the blender. Posted by Picasa


BerryBird said...

I see you have a guest author today. Ha! Only problem is teenagers don't know they are asking a lot, they just expect it. Funny story, though.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I'm thinking Lepidoptera as a crawly thing that eventually emerges as a lovely adult--I hope so, LOL!

I got smenita as my word verification word--for the SECOND time today!

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

ONly for me, it worked.

Smenita is back

Someoen wrote: The infamous word "smenita" is back! A few months ago this word was regularly appearing as a word verification word for Blogger comments, and was causing all sorts of problems largely because it was not being recognised. Indeed at least one whole blog, belonging to my friend Lingamish, was devoted to the study of Smenita. But then she seemed to disappear; at least, hardly anyone seems to have blogged about her for months, until one hour ago. Well, at least Crazy Mrs Nancy's post confirms to me that it is not just me seeing Smenita again.